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Title: Four Times, Almost
Author: [livejournal.com profile] cookielaura 
Rating: G
Pairing: Jack Harkness/Gwen Cooper
Warning: Spoilers for Something Borrowed
Summary: Four times Jack and Gwen kissed.
Wordcount: 379
Note: My first fic posting on LJ! Unbeta-d (wanna be my beta?) Just a quick ficlet, written in the hope that one day there will be more than four times! Comments = love. Concrit welcome!

 

Four Times, Almost


The first time was a beginning.

 

It was a simple thank-you. It was gratitude and adrenaline and relief, taking her over.

 

It was a quick, unexpected moment. An impulse. A sudden urge, acted on before she realised that acting on her urges around him would be a full time job, and a dangerous one at that.

 

It was soft, and sweet, and innocent. Its naivety left him stunned and silent.

 

It was a promise of things to come.

 

A promise that was never kept.

-------------------------------------------------------
 

The second time was a goodbye.

 

It was a final, private, trembling declaration of love, that she never intended him to feel.

 

It was unbelievably powerful.

 

It found him, reached him when he was floating hopelessly in an unreachable, unknowable place. It cut through time and space and dragged him back from the darkness.

 

It was a rescue.

 

And it saved them both.


------------------------------------------------------

The third time was painful.

 

It was just a kiss on the cheek between friends. It was congratulations, best wishes, a time honoured ritual of polite society.

 

It was as passionate as a kiss like that could be.

 

It was regret for a hundred opportunities passed by, and an apology for the next hundred that would be equally ignored. 

 

He thought it was a sacrifice, noble and honourable.

 

She thought it was cowardice, and she hated him for it.

It still left her weak.

------------------------------------------------------

The fourth time was everything and nothing at all.

 

It was the offer of all that she wanted, of being swept up and swept away, taken far from normality and expectation and the sick feeling of settling for second best.

 

It was months of longing and lusting and denying and forswearing, suddenly culminating and dissolving in one moment.

 

It was her heart beating so hard it seemed to almost break her chest as he finally took over and put a stop to her excuses and refusals.

 

It was his hands on her shoulders and then his fingers on her lips, gentle but demanding, not taking no for an answer. It was what she’d dreamed of, waited for. It was everything.

 

And it was nothing too.

 

In the end, it wasn’t even a kiss. It wasn’t even Jack.

 

And it broke her.

 

The fourth time was the last time.

Date: 2011-01-15 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beta-goddess.livejournal.com
Nicely done! Very vivid descriptive writing.

Date: 2011-01-15 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beta-goddess.livejournal.com
Thanks for the kind words! No, I almost never write fiction these days, partly because both my day job and my hobby involve writing nonfiction. Only so much writing a person can do in a day, you know? :)

Date: 2011-01-15 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azn-jack-fiend.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed this!

Date: 2011-01-15 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evalentine99.livejournal.com
Very interesting, Liked it.

Date: 2011-01-15 04:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] specialj67.livejournal.com
This is kick-ass!

I appreciate that you touched on so many unspoken emotions that flowed between them--love, longing, admiration, ambivalence--in rather few words.

Date: 2011-01-15 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] czarina-kitty.livejournal.com
Nicely done.

And I can probably beta for you, if you still need someone.

Date: 2011-01-15 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] czarina-kitty.livejournal.com
What a beta does depends on what it is you need. It can be as little as a basic proof-read, or you can use a beta to bounce ideas off of, help with plotting and characterization, etc..

Every writer I've betaed for has been different, based on what they need help with.

Date: 2011-01-15 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cryssiemarsters.livejournal.com
are you willing to do more betawork (J/G fic of couse)?

Date: 2011-01-15 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] czarina-kitty.livejournal.com
Depending on how prolific you both are, I'm sure we can work something out. I'll PM you both my email.

Date: 2011-01-17 11:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ebineez01.livejournal.com
yes there you - more more more Jack/Gwen fic from you! pleeeease :s I miss u writin stuff :D

Date: 2011-01-15 05:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aviv-b.livejournal.com
Very interesting look at those little moments that they almost get together.

Date: 2011-01-15 07:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com
Awww, so angsty at the end, just the way I like them! *crai*

Date: 2011-01-15 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cryssiemarsters.livejournal.com
aw it's absolutely fantastic. And kinda sad. *sigh*

Date: 2011-01-15 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cryssiemarsters.livejournal.com
The fact that you made me sigh shows how great this fic was! So there's no need of apologizing for evoking such emotions when writing an angsty fic. ;-) I wrote several angsty fics, so I know what I'm talking about. :)
Yeah, got it! :) thx hon! just - as I'm ill - haven't had energy to reply. But I will! And maybe with having new friends on LJ now, I'll resume posting.

Date: 2011-01-15 05:43 pm (UTC)
talkingtothesky: (alex)
From: [personal profile] talkingtothesky
Absolutely wonderful. ♥ Makes my heart ache in the best way.

I hope you write more!

Date: 2011-01-17 11:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ebineez01.livejournal.com
already commented over at ff.net - but so well done you! look at all the lovely cookie crumbs ur gettin. yay! write more fics pleeease :)

Date: 2011-01-18 09:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ebineez01.livejournal.com
it's not too bad over here for Gwen bashing - well on the comms I belong to anyway. we are all very tolerant it seems.
I'm not really working on anything as such - I told karaokegal I'd be doin one for her - but it's been a long week!
if you're into a nice bit of TW smut you should also keep an eye out for the next TW porn-battle. they are usually run by [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox and are alot of fun. quite often Jack/Ianto heavy, so it's good when you get us type people throwing some other stuff in the mix. but again no one is on the hating - if you don't like the pairing you just don't read

Date: 2011-01-17 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ebineez01.livejournal.com
and I stuffed up & shoulda used this icon instead(AGAIN!) so here's another

Date: 2011-01-21 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twmerlinfan.livejournal.com
I love these four time fics in general and this was the first Jack/Gwen fic I ever read. And I fell in love with them as a couple as a result of reading this after shipping Jack with Ianto for years.

This was wonderful :)

Date: 2011-02-02 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karaokegal.livejournal.com
Very nice. You really capture how fraught almost every Jack/Gwen moment is, no matter how fleeting and whether they can ever act on it or not.

Date: 2011-02-03 12:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karaokegal.livejournal.com
Roger that!

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